“Addressing the National People’s Congress about the pressing need to drastically lower standards, President Xi Jinping worried Thursday that the United States was outpacing China on poorly functioning low-speed trains,” reads a totally made up, fake news article by The Onion.

Still, like most articles by The Onion related to planning, the satire bites because of how closely the article hits the mark.

“China must do worse as a country,” reads a totally fabricated statesmen by President Xi Jinping in the source article, which you can read at the link below.