BF punishes GF for taking job interview after his dog had just died. AITA?

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‘AITA for not supporting my boyfriend he lost his dog and following through with a job interview?’

taaitavvsvs

My boyfriend and I have been togeth­er for 5 years and we don’t live togeth­er. He has a dog, Rex, 14 years old.

Recent­ly I was in the selec­tion process for my dream job and I reached the last stage which would be a for­mal inter­view with one of the boss­es in a 4 hours from mine.

This job has always been my dream because it is an area that I have always loved and the selec­tion process is one of the most dif­fi­cult and last­ed almost 8 months.

Rex was a lit­tle sick, he had to stay in the hos­pi­tal for a few days, but the vets were hope­ful, when I went to trav­el he would be dis­charged the next day.

I went on Sun­day night, Mon­day after­noon was my inter­view and I would be back on Tues­day morn­ing (I don’t like to take the road at night).

30 min­utes before the inter­view, my boyfriend called in tears with the news that Rex had a com­pli­ca­tion and passed away.

Obvi­ous­ly I was com­fort­ing him over the phone, try­ing to calm him down. After about 20 min­utes, he asked if I could get on the road to be with him. I said yes, of course, I would do an inter­view and as soon as I got my things at the hotel, I would hit the road. He was qui­et, said okay and wished me good luck.

The inter­view was and the next day I was offered the posi­tion, but it last­ed longer than expect­ed (what was sup­pose to be 30 min last­ed 1h15). As soon as I fin­ished, I texted and called, but no response, so I went to the hotel and took the road arriv­ing at 7PM at his house, I went straight there.

When I arrived, he said that he had already buried Rex and that he did­n’t need my sup­port any­more if I lit­er­al­ly chose my career over sup­port­ing him emo­tion­al­ly in this loss.

I tried to talk to him say­ing that it would have tak­en me at least 4 hours to help him and as soon as the inter­view end­ed, which last­ed longer than I thought, I tried to talk to him. But he closed the door on my face.

We’re not , I don’t know if we’re going to con­tin­ue our rela­tion­ship, I’ve brought this up to some friends of mine and some have said that, in fact, I made my career choice over him and his feel­ings are valid.

I real­ly don’t think it is, because any­way I would­n’t be with him for 4 hours and I tried as soon as I could to talk to him, but I could­n’t aban­don the most impor­tant inter­view?

So, strangers, AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from :

Hot_Tamali1580

NTA-

  1. A selec­tion process that 8 MONTHS and for what? You were already in anoth­er city when it hap­pened and you con­soled him before your inter­view.

  2. Unex­pect­ed things always hap­pen and to miss out on your dream job would be unrea­son­able. If some­thing that was hard on him hap­pened every time you had some­thing to attend or to be, then you would be putting your life on hold. And then you would need to ask if it would be the same the oth­er way around

  3. Would­n’t you be there for him after the inter­view and I’m assum­ing after that too? If it takes him one day to grieve then yeah I guess it’s impor­tant.

  4. He wished you good luck so he knew you were doing the inter­view. If it were that impor­tant he should have said that he want­ed you to come imme­di­ate­ly.

  5. It’s a dog?? HIS dog that you don’t live with. There’s only so much you can do.

Edit ‑to peo­ple who dis­agree with #5. I say this as some­one who has no pets. Although, Im high­light­ing the fact that this is how he act­ed when a dog died. Who knows how he would act if a friend/family mem­ber passed.

Relative_Dirt1005

Lowkey feels like sab­o­tage

DoNotWeep­At­My­Grave

Noth­ing low key about it. BF used the dog to emo­tion­al­ly black­mail her into her chance at bet­ter­ing her­self and mov­ing on.

IWan­tA­Large­Far­va

If this hap­pened to me, I would­n’t have even called my SO until after the inter­view. There was noth­ing she could do at that time. And him drop­ping that bomb­shell on her right before the inter­view could have thrown her off her game. (Luck­i­ly it did­n’t.) This BF made an awful choice.

Shieby1234

NTA. OP left with­in 2ish hours of the phone call and had a 4 hour car ride after com­pet­ing for a dream job (process for which was 8 months long).

What did the boyfriend want? OP to lose this oppor­tu­ni­ty to arrive home 2 hrs ear­li­er? I get that he was griev­ing the loss of his com­pan­ion… and hope­ful­ly once the pain gets less sharp, he can real­ize he was being unrea­son­able.

But OP should prob­a­bly recon­sid­er those friend­ships.

hellhound_wrangler

NTA, your ex-bf is a con­trol­ling, self-cen­tered AH. You were 4 hours from home, you can’t tele­port, and you offered to back that night, despite your wor­ries about long night dri­ves.

This isn’t pri­mar­i­ly about Rex, your BF thinks of you as an exten­sion or acces­so­ry rather than as a full per­son with a life out­side of his. And I’m say­ing this as some­one with dogs I love very much. I think the prob­lem was that you were pur­su­ing your own thing and he absolute­ly could not respect that.

If Rex had­n’t died, you’d be a bitch for going when his dog was sick, or if Rex was fine, you’d be a vil­lain for not think­ing about how your new career might make your BF feel inad­e­quate or lone­ly or what­ev­er non­sense.

Look, it sucks that Rex died, and I’m sure your bf is very sad about it, but his treat­ment of you is still inex­cus­ably child­ish and crap­py. You can do bet­ter.

So, do you think her boyfriend is right to be angry or is he not thinking enough about what is best for her?

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