BF punishes GF for taking job interview after his dog had just died. AITA?

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‘AITA for not supporting my boyfriend when he lost his dog and following through with a job interview?’

taaitavvsvs

My boyfriend and I have been togeth­er for 5 years and we don’t live togeth­er. He has a dog, Rex, 14 years old.

Recent­ly I was in the selec­tion for my dream job and I reached the last stage which would be a for­mal inter­view with one of the boss­es in a city 4 hours from mine.

This job has always been my dream because it is an area that I have always loved and the selec­tion process is one of the most dif­fi­cult and last­ed almost 8 months.

Rex was get­ting a lit­tle sick, he had to stay in the hos­pi­tal for a few days, but the vets were hope­ful, when I went to trav­el he would be dis­charged the next day.

I went on Sun­day night, Mon­day after­noon was my inter­view and I would be back on Tues­day morn­ing (I don’t like to take the road at night).

30 min­utes before the inter­view, my boyfriend called in tears with the news that Rex had a com­pli­ca­tion and passed away.

Obvi­ous­ly I was com­fort­ing him over the phone, try­ing to calm him down. After about 20 min­utes, he asked if I could get on the road to be with him. I said yes, of course, I would do an inter­view and as soon as I got my things at the hotel, I would hit the road. He was qui­et, said okay and wished me good luck.

The inter­view was great and the next day I was offered the , but it last­ed longer than expect­ed (what was sup­pose to be 30 min last­ed 1h15). As soon as I fin­ished, I texted and called, but no response, so I went to the hotel and took the road arriv­ing at 7PM at his , I went straight there.

When I arrived, he said that he had already buried Rex and that he did­n’t need my sup­port any­more if I lit­er­al­ly chose my over sup­port­ing him emo­tion­al­ly in this loss.

I tried to talk to him say­ing that it would have tak­en me at least 4 hours to help him and as soon as the inter­view end­ed, which last­ed longer than I thought, I tried to talk to him. But he closed the door on my face.

We’re not talk­ing, I don’t know if we’re going to con­tin­ue our rela­tion­ship, I’ve brought this up to friends of mine and some have said that, in fact, I made my career choice over him and his feel­ings are valid.

I real­ly don’t think it is, because any­way I would­n’t be with him for 4 hours and I tried as soon as I could to talk to him, but I could­n’t aban­don the most impor­tant inter­view?

So, strangers, AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

Hot_Tamali1580

NTA-

  1. A selec­tion process that takes 8 MONTHS and for what? You were already in city when it hap­pened and you con­soled him before your inter­view.

  2. Unex­pect­ed things always hap­pen and to miss out on your dream job would be unrea­son­able. If some­thing that was hard on him hap­pened every time you had some­thing to attend or places to be, then you would be putting your life on hold. And then you would need to ask if it would be the same the oth­er way around

  3. Would­n’t you be there for him after the inter­view and I’m assum­ing after that too? If it takes him one day to grieve then yeah I guess it’s impor­tant.

  4. He wished you good luck so he knew you were doing the inter­view. If it were that impor­tant he should have said that he want­ed you to come imme­di­ate­ly.

  5. It’s a dog?? HIS dog that you don’t live with. There’s only so much you can do.

‑to peo­ple who dis­agree with #5. I say this as some­one who has no pets. Although, Im high­light­ing the fact that this is how he act­ed when a dog died. Who knows how he would act if a friend/family mem­ber passed.

Relative_Dirt1005

Lowkey feels like sab­o­tage

DoNotWeep­At­My­Grave

Noth­ing low key about it. BF used the dog to emo­tion­al­ly black­mail her into ruin­ing her chance at bet­ter­ing her­self and mov­ing on.

IWan­tA­Large­Far­va

If this hap­pened to me, I would­n’t have even called my SO until after the inter­view. There was noth­ing she could do at that time. And him drop­ping that bomb­shell on her right before the inter­view could have thrown her off her game. (Luck­i­ly it did­n’t.) This BF made an awful choice.

Shieby1234

NTA. OP left with­in 2ish hours of the phone call and had a 4 hour car ride after com­pet­ing for a dream job (process for which was 8 months long).

What did the boyfriend want? OP to lose this oppor­tu­ni­ty to arrive 2 hrs ear­li­er? I get that he was griev­ing the loss of his com­pan­ion… and hope­ful­ly once the gets less sharp, he can real­ize he was being unrea­son­able.

But OP should prob­a­bly recon­sid­er those friend­ships.

hellhound_wrangler

NTA, your ex-bf is a con­trol­ling, self-cen­tered AH. You were 4 hours from home, you can’t tele­port, and you offered to dri­ve back that night, despite your wor­ries about long night dri­ves.

This isn’t pri­mar­i­ly about Rex, your BF thinks of you as an exten­sion or acces­so­ry rather than as a full per­son with a life out­side of his. And I’m say­ing this as some­one with dogs I love very much. I think the prob­lem was that you were pur­su­ing your own thing and he absolute­ly could not respect that.

If Rex had­n’t died, you’d be a bitch for going when his dog was sick, or if Rex was fine, you’d be a vil­lain for not think­ing about how your new career might your BF feel inad­e­quate or lone­ly or what­ev­er non­sense.

Look, it sucks that Rex died, and I’m sure your bf is very sad about it, but his treat­ment of you is still inex­cus­ably child­ish and crap­py. You can do bet­ter.

So, do you think her boyfriend is right to be angry or is he not thinking enough about what is best for her?

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